make it work.

I want to make it work. From the ground up. Building new blocks, setting the foundation. 

I’m going to do everything in my power to make this work. I’m not going down without a fight.

heartbreaking.

I thought that I wouldn’t experience what I experienced a couple years ago. I told myself that that feeling will go away. 

I wouldn’t get so messed up emotionally.

But, then the unthinkable happened to me where I don’t know where I stand.

I wouldn’t want to live my life any other way, and for someone to just take that for granted or play with it pains me.

I promised myself that this time, when it did happen again, I wouldn’t let it get to me.

I thought I learned my lesson.

I thought I drank my lesson.

I allowed myself to be overtaken by the fear and the notion that it was the worse thing that I have seen done to me, and I don’t know where to go from there.

I don’t know what this person wants, but all I know is that I care. It pains me to see that someone you really like (maybe even close to that dreaded word that everyone seems to take granted for nowadays) do something so painful that no one should ever go through that.

I told myself that this was something I will go through and beat. But to be honest, I don’t want to see the person I care about going with a different person.

It’s a cliche type of thing, but I think I would rather live away than see a loved one be with someone else.

They may never realize it, because their judgment may have been clouded, but you know what, we’re all better than that. We have choices. 

Like everyone I know who spoke to me about it: “Nice guys always finish last”.

No matter how nice and charming and caring a person is, they will somehow get the short end of the stick, when they least expect it.

The unbearable will happen to the person in front of you. Deliberately or not, it is the most heartbreaking feeling that anyone will feel.

That feeling, until you beat it, will eat you emotionally so much, it may be too unbearable to do anything at all.

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heartbroken.